The dangers of perfectionism

The idea of perfectionism is something we often wear like a badge of honour. Perfectionism may seem glamorous, and it is certainly a great way to trick ourselves into feeling like we belong. 

But it is a dangerous obsession. Perfectionism holds us back, keeps us from realising our own strengths, as we strive to meet the ideas of success that are prescribed to us by others, like looking a certain way, having a certain job, working a certain number of hours in a week. But really, how do these expectations serve you? They don’t. And do you need to subscribe? No. 

What if, instead of creating unrealistic expectations of ourselves and comparing ourselves to societal norms, we decided to be our own biggest fans. There is always the option to treat yourself, and others, as compassionately as you treat your bestie. 

Call it what you please: self-love, anti-perfectionism, being yourself; what it all comes down to is self-acceptance, and knowing that the fastest way to learn is through failure.

Don’t wear the badge. Fuck it up, cry, hurt, laugh. Move on. It is liberating.

Because, as Eric Kessel says: 

“Failure isn’t fatal- quite the contrary. 

It is downright fabulous”. 

It is an opportunity to grow, and you give everyone else that same permission at the same time. 

So here is what we have been lapping up, as we pass mid-year and realise nothing is as expected, and coach ourselves towards realising that it doesn’t really matter. 

Resources

Embrace The Strange Magic of Your True Self, TED Talk, by Casey Gerald

On Professional Failure, Article, by The School Of Life

Failed It! Book, by Erik Kessels

Cover image by We Are Not Really Strangers

November 14, 2019